Explicit Content
Explicit content includes sexual content, such as porn, and violent or disturbing content. It can also include culturally offensive themes, blood and gore, hate content, content that encourages violence against an individual or group, and defamation. This content can be easily found online by teens and children, both by accident and on purpose.
Find more information about cyber safety practices at home and how to limit exposure to explicit content here.
Porn
Porn can be found all over the Internet, and in many places you might not expect.
It can be found on porn websites, social media platforms, pop-up ads, nude images from online friends and acquaintances, and content their friends show them in person. It’s so important to understand how to talk to children of different ages about porn – they will come across it at some point.
Looking at porn regularly can influence children’s and teenagers’ attitudes about sex and sexual relationships. This can affect their ability to form consensual, healthy, and respectful relationships.
Porn can reinforce negative messages like:
Mutual consent and safe sex aren’t important.
- Violent sexual acts are normal and appealing.
- Loving relationships aren’t important.
- Aggressive behaviour towards women is normal and okay.
- Sexual relationships in which women have no power are normal and okay.
So, how do you stop porn from impacting children and teens like this? Talk about it!
Check out these guides for how to have age-appropriate conversations about porn.
Children & Pre-Teens 6-12
Digital explorers are becoming comfortable using the internet as a tool and for fun. They need SOME supervision that PREPARES them to navigate the online world solo. Having lots of communication is extremely important at this age, especially about tough topics like porn.
Don’t know where to start?
Here are some questions you can ask to start the conversation:
- Have you ever seen anything online that has made you uncomfortable?
- What was it that made you feel uncomfortable?
- Have you ever seen people online without clothes on?
- A lot of people have questions about pictures of people without clothes or people having sex. Is there anything you’d like to know?
Once you gauge their knowledge about porn, you can offer some information about the topic. Use this guide to navigate this tough conversation.
Define Porn.
Start with the basics. Don’t get too complicated.
“Pornography is photos or videos of naked adults. It doesn’t show real life – people are acting, like they do in movies. The people in porn are often kissing and touching each other without clothes on”.
- Explain Why Porn in Harmful.
Talk about porn in a way kids can understand, while also keeping it age appropriate.
“People are shown doing weird things in porn sometimes, like hurting each other. This is not okay for adults or kids to see. It isn’t like sex in real life – people sometimes do things in porn they don’t like doing, but do anyway because they are paid”.
Explain the difference between appropriate content and porn.
“Sometimes characters in movies and TV shows kiss – this is okay for you to see. Watching people kiss and touch each other without clothes on isn’t”.
- Listen & Answer Questions.
This may be an awkward conversation, but it’s important to remain open and calm. The child may have a lot of questions and it’s okay if you don’t have the answers right away! Just tell them you’ll think about it and get back to them
- What if they’ve already encountered porn?
- Stay calm and positive. It’s normal for kids to be curious. Take this opportunity to steer them towards age-appropriate resources.
- Ask questions. This helps reassure them it is safe to talk to you. Try to get more information about what they saw and how they saw it.
- Be ready to listen. Ask the child how they are feeling and give them an opportunity to ask questions.
- Act, if necessary. Based on the conversation, you will have a better idea as to how the pornography exposure, especially if it was graphic and violent, affected your child. If you think the child has been traumatized by what they saw, reach out to get help.
- Model and encourage critical thinking. Online pornography is not regulated and can be extremely graphic and violent. Remind children they shouldn’t believe everything they see, and it’s important to know they can question or reject messages they see. Give them an example based on what they shared with you. You might say, “People in the video were acting – people who care about each other don’t treat each other like that. No one should hurt another person, and no one likes to be hurt”.
- Improve online safety. Search for better filters and parental controls to limit access. However, it should not take the place of conversations and rules about online pornography.
Teens 13+
Digital residents live and play online. They need access to the Internet for educational, employment, and social activities. Teens will have unsupervised access to the Internet, but they are still learning and need SUPPORT from adults and mentors to make good choices about what they access and share. It’s important to build trust with teens so they feel comfortable communicating about what they see, hear, and do online.
Preteens and teens will come across explicit online. They may even seek it out.
Even if this content is restricted at home, they can access it while at friend’s or relative’s homes. It’s an uncomfortable topic, but it’s important to talk to your teens about porn and other forms of explicit content. You can help them set realistic expectations about sex and intimate relationships.
You will not be able to police every moment a teen spends online. It’s impossible. This is why it’s important to build trust.
Use this guide to navigate this tough conversation.
- Explain Why Porn in Harmful
When you talk to your teen about porn, include these key points
- Porn is made to make money – the actors in the videos or photos are paid.
- People like to watch things that they don’t do in real life. Porn lets them enjoy these fantasies without having to do them.
- Porn is exaggerated. It’s not like sex in real life.
- No one asks for permission or if it’s okay to touch someone, have sex, or do other actions in porn, but it’s very important to ask permission in real life.
- Actors are being paid to pretend to enjoy what they are doing, even if they don’t like it.
- Everyday bodies don’t look like the ones shown in porn. The actors in porn are like models in magazines.
- Just because people are aggressive or violent in porn doesn’t mean this is normal or acceptable. Sex needs to be respectful and consensual .
- Listen & Answer Questions
This can be an uncomfortable conversation to have with a teen. Try out some of these questions to get the ball rolling.
- Does anyone you know talk about porn or claim to watch it?
- Have you ever watched porn?
- Have you ever watched porn with your friends?
- Do you have any questions about things you’ve seen?
- Regular Porn Viewing
If a teen or pre-teen is regularly looking at porn, it’s important to find out why. If they’re looking at it to find out more about sex, you can provide them with better sources of information.
If the teen is looking at porn for sexual arousal, ask them how often and what kind of porn they are watching. It is vital you explain why regular porn use can be harmful.
However, if the teen feels like they can’t control their pornography use, you can find additional resources here.
Nude Images
Digital explorers are expanding their social circle online and often developing romantic and sexual feelings for peers.
However, nude images of anyone under 18 is child porn. It is illegal to produce, distribute and possess child porn. Beyond the possibility of criminal charges, there are other serious consequences. Mental health, privacy, and public image – now and in the future – can be majorly impacted when nude images are shared.
If a nude image is never created it can never be shared. While it’s not illegal for a child to have nude images and videos of themselves, they are not secure.
Here are some of the ways nude images are shared:
- Directly accessing someone’s mobile device or computer.
- When someone accesses online storage where nude images are backed up.
- After a relationship ends. The nude images that were sent between the two people may be sent to others.
Criminal Charges
If a nude image is shared and you’re not sure whether criminal charges should be pressed, contact your local police. They will advise you on how to proceed and help you file a report. They may want to collect evidence and access electronic devices.
What if Your Child’s Nude Image Is Shared?
- 1Remain calm and comfort the child. You’re here to help, not punish them.
- 2Delete all nude images and videos from mobile devices, hard drives, back ups, and cloud storage.
- 3Ask everyone the child sent it to delete it immediately. Ask them to delete any online posts and comments about it as well.
- 4
Report the image or video to the site, app, or service used to share it, and ask them to take down any copies that have spread.
- 5If relevant, contact the child’s school and ask them to help stop further distribution.
What if Your Child Shares Someone Else’s Nude Image?
- 1Stay calm, listen and use this as an opportunity to for them to learn why this is wrong.
- 2Delete all nude images and videos from mobile devices, hard drives, back ups, and cloud storage.
- 3Encourage the child to repair the harm they have caused by sharing the nude image. If appropriate, they could meet with the person and offer an apology.
What if Your Child Is Sent an Unwanted Nude Image?
- 1Stay calm and thank them for letting you know. This is a difficult thing for them to talk about and you want to encourage this kind of honesty.
- 2Focus on the child’s wellbeing and make sure they feel supported.
- 3Monitor how they are doing. Signs that a child may be depressed or anxious include changes in their mood, appetite, sleep patterns, energy level, willingness to socialize, and attendance at school or work.
- 4If you think your child is struggling to cope, get them help.
Sexting
Sexting is when people send sexual messages, photos, or videos through messaging apps, text messages, emails, online games, or social media. It is essential to communicate to children that nude images of anyone under 18 is child porn. It is illegal to produce, distribute and possess child porn.
To prevent kids and teens from sexting their peers, it is important to establish rules about Internet use at home and talk to them about these key points:
- Taking and sending nude images isn’t just against the rules at home, it is against the law.
Any messages, photos, or videos can’t be unsent – these things are permanent and can easily be sent to others.
- No one should ever ask you to take a picture of yourself nude. If they do, talk to a trusted adult.
Still Have Questions?
A Crash Course in Cyber Safety at Home
Prepare
Set Rules
Be Involved
Make use of Parental Controls on Phones, Computers, Tablets and Gaming Devices.
Parental controls are features that are included in digital TV services such as Netflix, on video games or consoles, in website browsers like Chrome, Edge, or Safari, and on mobile devices like phones and tablets.
These controls allow caregivers to restrict access to certain types of content, such as sexual, violent, or other harmful content. Parental controls are important but can’t do all the work alone! These controls work best when used with direct supervision.
As a child grows and develops, so do their online needs, so you’ll need to change your parental controls regularly.
Set strong passwords and don’t share them.
Use strong passwords to set up parental controls.
Make sure they can’t be easily guessed.
- Use bookmarks.
Create a personalized experience by bookmarking safe sites.
- Review games and apps.
When choosing a new game or app for a child, be sure to check the age rating and content. Learn about the game by reading the description or playing with it before handing it over to kids.
Look for games and apps that are pro-social and help children learn antiviolence attitudes, empathy, tolerance, and respect.
- Set limits and rules for screentime.
It’s good to set screentime limits for the whole family.
Simple rules such as no phones during meals or after dinner can help kids set boundaries with the online world.
Set times during the week to talk about what everyone is doing online to help monitor risks and teach skills.
Every house will have different rules for going online. You will need to figure out what works best for your household. Whatever it is, be sure to set rules, stick to them, and model the same behaviour.
- Rules to consider for your home.
1
Where can devices be used?
For example, keeping devices in common areas such as a living room can make sure an adult is nearby to monitor what is going on and respond.
2
When can devices be used?
For example, no devices before bed can help everyone sleep better. Or consider having a tech-free day focused on a family activity.
Can devices be used when an adult is not home? This could vary depending on age.
3
How long can devices be used?
Set time limits for how much screen time each family member is allowed. Be consistent and make sure everyone participates. See what the Canadian Pediatric Society recommends.
Set aside time for offline activities.
4
When can we share online?
Set rules for what can and can’t be shared online. This is a great chance to talk to kids about online risks, stranger danger, and how to identify risks. Talk about never sharing passwords, pictures, or personal information online.
Think before you post. What are the consequences of sharing these words or images? If you don’t know, ask!
5
What to do if you need help?
Have a system for what kids can do if they need help.
6
How do we behave online?
Online behaviour should mirror real-life behaviour.
You can’t be everywhere all the time. Teaching and modelling safe habits, setting rules and limits, and building trust are key to safe online experiences.
Supervise device use.
Supervised device use is most practical for younger children. Set boundaries and build good habits now to lay the foundation for teens.
Supervised device use doesn’t mean you have to sit directly with the child. It could simply mean you are nearby and ready to help.
Having children use devices without headphones can help you stay connected with the content they are watching.
- Go online together.
Learn about the games and content a child or children are interested in.
Talk to them about content, chats, and in-app purchasing.
Have them show you their favourite websites, apps, and games so you can understand where and how they spend their time online.
- Talk it out.
Talk to kids and teens regularly about what they are doing and who they are meeting online.
Be positive and don’t be reactive. Check in to see if they’re worried about anything they’ve seen or heard. Engage with them and be sure they understand the trusted adults they can go to if something happens.
- How to handle online risks.
As children become more comfortable online, teach them skills to manage unwanted websites, pop-ups, ads, and search results.
Encourage them to step away from their devices and have real-world conversations.
Think before you post. What are the
consequences of posting words or
images online?
